The most peaceful day of my life.

This is our baby Shane's story. Our beautiful little angel was very unexpectedly diagnosed on October 26, 2007 by ultrasound with a severe form of "caudal regression syndrome". I was 32 weeks pregnant with him when we found out he had this syndrome. You can read more about this syndrome here - http://www.rarediseases.org/search/rdbdetail_abstract.html?disname=Caudal+Regression+Syndrome. It is a very rare syndrome, and little is known about it other than it being associated with moms who have gestational diabetes. I did not have gestational diabetes. I was healthy. There was no explanation, and there remains no reason for what happened. When I was 34 weeks pregnant with Shane, I chose to have my labor induced. On November 8, 2007 at 12:17 PM, Shane was silently born to us. He weighed 3 pounds, 5 ounces, and he was 11 1/2 inches long. His birth was a peaceful one. Although most people might think it would be a devastating and painful memory, I remember his birth as a beautiful and peaceful time in our lives; a time that brought us together and helped us to realize our true love and need for each other. There were hard times ahead, single moments as well as entire days where my arms just felt so empty without him, and there was nothing that could fill that void. I spent 8 months with Shane, feeling him alive and moving inside me, my body keeping his body alive. I had just those 2 short weeks to give up every single dream I had ever had for him. There were some very confusing & difficult times for me. I could not have made it through them without my family and friends, especially my husband Mike and my son Miles. Today, I just try to stay grateful for every minute I had with Shane. Feeling him move around and feeling him alive inside me for as long as I did is a feeling I will never ever forget. I loved being pregnant with him because I was able to give him life. I still wish I would have had just a little bit more time with him, alive. I wish I had more pictures of myself pregnant with him. I wish I had pictures of my family all together while I was pregnant with him. I wish so many things that will never happen now. Although he is still a huge part of our lives, it's nothing like we dreamed it would be. Despite such a short life, he left his tiny little footprints on so many hearts. It is only through our memories and the things that we do to remember him that he lives on. I can only hope that his story will continue to touch hearts, and heal families that are going through this overwhelming and unexpected pain of losing their babies. I share his story with whoever is willing to listen. I love to talk about my baby boy. He is the reason I am the person I am today. I will continue to use this site to keep his memory alive, to update you all on the things we do in memory of him. I will no longer keep my other website - http://www.4shanemichael.com/ - up and running. Please visit this site instead! Thank you for reading!